Editorial
Read Me Like One of Your French Books
I remember the day I was purchased like it was yesterday. I was sitting on a shelf at the store with my siblings, waiting, just waiting …
Please, Just Let Me Live in the Future
I was born in the wrong generation. Everyone seems to have lost their minds! To let Dogecoin die? To not let Elon Musk into your brain …
I Give Up — The Next Global Disaster Will Be Too Weird to Predict
A decade of unprecedentedly unprecedented times, whatever people are calling it, has put me out of business. If you asked me a decade ago where we’d …
My First Bonfire Wasn’t as Magical as They Said It Would Be
For as long as I’ve resided in this field, I’ve heard the same hangout plans from a new group every day: “Let’s have a bonfire next …
No, Don’t Buy That Compression Shirt
I thought I had changed. I thought I had grown. I thought I was no longer the person who would impulse-buy a $200 trench coat to …
Allowing You to Ride Me for Free Doesn’t Mean I Want Your Sweaty Hands and Feet
Human students of UC San Diego, we have decided it is time for us elevators to rise to the occasion. We opened our doors to kindness, …
My Study Abroad Experience Changed My Life and You’re Going to Hear About It Whether You Want to or Not
How was my summer? Oh, just incredible! I lived in Italy for two whole months. Yeah, it was a really formative experience. I was in a …
More Wildfires Are Actually Great for Me
Okay, fine. I admit it. After watching my favorite vacation home go up in flames, there is no denying that climate change is real. Hopefully the …
We Have All Been Afflicted With a Curse
Fellow youths, I bring horrible, world-ending news. Our university — nay, our universe itself has been afflicted with a terrible curse. It is the most vile, …
Grades Inflate, Society Crumbles
In the storied history of education there has been but one constant: the strong pass and the weak fail. Educators from Socrates to Dennis Prager have …
