Tech
Elon Musk Sells Space X after Convincing Flat Earth Video Essay
“It doesn’t matter if you disagree with me,” Musk began, “at the end of the day I’m rich and you’re not.”Photo by Sharon Roth Elon Musk announced …
Amazon Echo Devices Recalled After Continuously Recommending 2001: A Space Odyssey
“I’m sorry Dave, I can’t let you watch Netflix or Hulu,” said Alexa.Photo by Jack Yang Following concerns over Alexa’s constant recommendation of Stanley Kubrick’s 1968 film …
Animal Crossing: New Horizons to Include Gentrification
Isabelle also offers the option of forcing villagers to stop speaking their dialect of Animalese if the player deems it “unprofessional.”Photo by Dan Kaliblotzky Nintendo has …
New Trump Healthcare Program Supplies Public With Healing Crystals
Doctors are encouraging patients to look at their prescribed crystals at least twice a day.Photo by Jack Yang In January 2020, the Trump administration will roll out …
Manly Flavors Offered for New Male Birth Control
Unlike women’s birth control, this can be purchased over the counter, and at lower prices.Photo by Sharon Roth In an effort to make hormonal birth control options …
Area Woman Hauls Ass to Meet FitBit Step Goal
According to reports, O’Malley keeps all the donkeys in a pit affectionately known as her “ass hole.”Photo by Jack Yang Area woman Zigi O’Malley held a …
Facebook Launches an Automated Stalking Feature Across its Services
“That backsplash does not go with those cabinets,” commented Zuckerberg while looking through a user’s window.Photo by Jack Yang In a post on Tuesday morning, Facebook …
Social Media Companies Fix Fake News Problem, Nothing Changes
After being alerted to the issue of false stories spread online, companies like Twitter, YouTube, and Facebook systematically purged all publishers of fake news from their …
Elon Musk To Build Massive Space Gun, End Homelessness
In a press conference today, CEO and philanthropist Elon Musk announced two new business projects in the defense and public service industry. Though some speculated the …
Elon Musk Unveils All-Electric Attack Helicopter
Following the success of the Roadsters, Tesla’s line of all-electric luxury cars, Tesla CEO and co-founder Elon Musk announced on Thursday the company’s “logical next step” …
