The MQ
Satanic Barbecue Point/Counter Point
Point: University of California, San Diego: One Big Homage to the Devil? Greetings, children of the Great Shepherd, our Great Lord. I stand before you today …
Area Mad Scientist Crowdfunds Affront to God
Area Mad Scientist Hugo Mounster began using crowdfunding platform GoFundMe to raise money to create life that is “an affront to all the gods of man.” …
I’m So Excited Daddy’s Coming Home!
Okay, I am SO excited right now! Even more excited than last week when Ms. Johnson said my self-portrait looked like a sick monkey, which is …
Satan Declares Rap Superstar Fetty Wap “Not a Real Devil Worshiper”
The Dark Lord Satan, also known as Beelzebub, announced his disdain towards popular rapper Fetty Wap in a press conference Tuesday. The press conference, held in …
Nick Jonas Produces “Brokeback Mountain” Remake, Plays All Roles
After his stunning role as a shirtless, gay MMA Fighter in “Kingdom,” his role as a shirtless, gay frat boy in “Scream Queens,” and as a …
Top Ten Upcoming Alternative Energy Sources
Plug two generators into one another for endless energy Give internship credit to undergraduates for sitting around and spinning a wheel Power a generator with heat …
Top Ten Differences between Your Shoes and Hillary Clinton’s Shoes
One pair belongs to a lying, corrupt politician, and the other belongs to Clinton Yours are black and hers are a darker shade of black Her …
Top Ten Things Holding Back the Realization of a Modern-Day Utopia
Eve. Couldn’t she have just eaten the pear? Vertically sliced bread isn’t a thing yet Did you know that some states still have laws restricting gerrymandering? …
Top Ten Problems You First Encounter In College
Fighting on the playground The human body contains about 3.5 more liters of blood than your bucket can handle The realization that life is just series …
Top Ten Regrets from Black Friday
Grabbing a shopping cart instead of a basket. You’re just slowing yourself down Being a participant in the trampling death of that old woman, but also …
