Last Wednesday, ERC sophomore Dylan Biggs was surprised and delighted to find a piece of plastic within his Chicken Noodle Soup while eating at Cafe Ventanas.

“You know I was just getting a little bored of eating at Cafe V, everyday for every meal, with no variation in any meals each week whatsoever and no increase in the quality of food,” Biggs said. “But I’m glad to see they’ve decided to start serving a better culinary experience!”

“We realized that some students may not be fully pleased with the food they eat here.” Chef Tim Gilligan stated. “It obviously wasn’t how well the food was made, it was how exciting each meal was, on top of how delicious the food is.”

Gilligan has promised that this is just the start of Cafe V’s plan to revolutionize campus dining. Using “a decades old culinary trick” made famous by Kellogg’s cereal, Cafe V will now start randomly putting “mystery prizes” into their food.

“Cardboard instead of pizza crust, plaster on fish tacos, and even scrap metal in the burritos for a crunchy texture,” Gilligan said. “We have endless ideas for these prizes.”

“I’m really excited to see where this goes,” Biggs said “Finally I can prove to all my friends in other colleges that Cafe V does in fact have the best food on campus and even in all of San Diego!”