The MQ
Top Ten Similarities Between April Fool’s Day and Your Final Exams
10. They remind you of your wasted potential
9. You celebrated both by putting a stink bomb inside your professor’s car
8. You didn’t expect to be drunk
7. Both have an approximately 13 percent chance of sending you to the hospital
6. You spent the entire time blaming your noxious gas on a whoopee cushion
5. They make you want to drop out of college
4. You would have felt better if you had just stayed in bed
3. They both have gone on long enough
2. You started to laugh-cry at the absurdity of it all
1. You forgot to participate
Top Ten Reasons Your Uncle Stopped Calling You
10. You stole his identity
9. You stopped sending him birthday money
8. Nobody calls anymore, maybe you should text him instead
7. He used his “phone a friend” on you, but you disappointed him
6. Uncle Sam got mad at you for draft-dodging
5. You drank his good beer
4. He’s with the cool kids now, don’t ruin this for him
3. He found out you’re wearing a wire
2. You accidentally called him “Dad” during your last reunion and things are awkward now
1. He lost his phone
Top Ten Ways to Ask Someone Out on Valentine’s Day
Tell them you’ve decided to settle Ask your mom to do it for you WikiHow never failed, right? Venmo them exactly 69 dollars Find out their …
Top Ten Reasons You Regret Robbing That Old Woman
She ran a lot faster than you thought she would It was right in front of a police station She was not afraid to use her …
