Volume 31 Issue 5
Forks on Roads Increase Traffic
“Silver? Where?” said one driver.Photo by Austin Choy Last month, the Bureau of Accelerating Inland Transportation (BAIT), a recently established California government agency, passed a bill …
Google Debuts Uneditable Spellchecker for Names
Following President Trump’s inauguration, Alphabet, Google’s parent company, announced that they were debuting a new feature across Google products: spell check for names. “For too long …
Traffic Laws Apply to Scooters Too vs. Huh? I Can’t Hear You Through My AirPods
Point: Traffic Laws Apply to Scooters Too It totally didn’t surprise me last week when I was walking to my 12 p.m. discussion at the top …
State to Become Church
“What if thy neighbor is a Democrat?” asked Alito.Photo by Ezra Bihis Following a 233-year-long separation, Church and State reunited in the US Department of Justice …
Mexico Renames Mall of America
“This is easily the hardest class I’ve ever taken,” said one International Business major.Photo by Liv Gilbert Mexican President Claudia Sheinbaum announced that Mexico will be …
Democrats Deny Existence of Trump
“It’s pretty crazy that we don’t have a President, but I guess we’ll make do,” said one Democrat.Photo by Dylan Schmidt With Republicans controlling all branches …
It’s Really Hard Being The Little Stinker of American Law
Listen, in my heart, fundamentally, I’m just a chill guy, you know? I went to Yale, sure, but not in a lame, pretentious way, only because …
‘Great Frog’ Spawns ‘Mist-erious’ Community Among Literature Students
“It whispers to me when no-one is around,” said Leslie.Photo by Janice Kim Following the start of the rainy season, an ancient water deity revealed itself …
