Traffic Accident Victim
Point: Traffic Laws Apply to Scooters Too
It totally didn’t surprise me last week when I was walking to my 12 p.m. discussion at the top floor of RWAC, and all of a sudden, one of those damned scooter riders ran me over. It completely knocked me to the ground just as I finished rushing all the way from the other side of campus. Thankfully, I was fine (after only needing to get stitched up at the emergency room), but the worst part of this was that I missed the pop quiz for mandatory attendance credit that the TA sprang on us, and now I’m on the verge of failing the class! Even then, this experience only confirmed the worries I’ve had for my safety since I first stepped onto this godforsaken campus. I even heard that somebody died last year from an e-scooter accident!
What would make these guys change? Do we have to start adding call buttons like the ones near Warren whenever a walking path intersects with a bike lane? I like the sound of that, especially if they give us a brick to threaten scooterists with. Maybe we even add a gate, like when train tracks intersect a road?
It wouldn’t even matter anyways, they’d all just blast through the light or even the gate; frankly car traffic isn’t so relenting here either. Besides, even if all these drivers aren’t busy running people over while making their eardrums bleed with their music blasting, they can’t even figure out how to go around the roundabout near Sun God Lawn correctly!
Erstwhile Driver of Truck-kun
Counterpoint: Huh? I Can’t Hear You Through My AirPods
As someone who is dedicated to being nonchalant and minding my own damn business, I don’t understand what the fuss is about. We already have separated lanes in, like, enough places, so I don’t even know what people are complaining about? I mean, if people are in the way, everybody knows that it’s obviously the pedestrian’s responsibility to walk out of the way. They’re probably just looking at their phones while crossing the crosswalks or worse, even walking straight into the middle of the bike lanes! Frankly the noise from everyone walking is why whenever I get on a scooter I always put in my ‘Pods and blast some hard metal to cover all of the sounds that distract from my scootering. My general advice to people is whenever you hear someone talking about this stuff, just keep to yourself and cover the complaining with screams like I do if you have to.
And honestly, I would say that people are quite good at riding e-scooters! When I’m walking, especially in the parts where pedestrians and cyclists share the walkway, I always tense up when it seems like they’re heading straight for my face at full speed — but it always turns out just fine because those guys are able to cut through foot traffic like Swiss cheese. If you’ve ever had an unfortunate run-in or run-over with one of our school’s many skilled scooterists, it was definitely your own fault. Simply mind your own business, or stay out of our lane.
