31.3
UCSD Abolishes Thanksgiving Break
“If Ben Franklin had gotten his way, we would be eating the national bird right now,” said student Reginald Archibald.Photo by Jordan Whitlow At a press …
Grocery Stores Now Stocking Organic, Free-Range Bottled Water
“Compared to me, all those normal water suckers are low-drated,” said WellWater customer and self-proclaimed “clean girl” Hayleigh Zoomer.Photo by Farhad Taraporevala As of early October, …
No, Just Because You Uppercut Me Does Not Mean You’re ‘Punching Up’
Today, one of my dear HUMR 101: Intro to Humor students, who I will call “Jimmy,” came into my office, wound up his fist, and uppercutted …
Local Police to Enact New Recruitment Strategy
“I hear that somewhere during the course, they handcuff you,” said one interested studentwho chose to remain anonymous.Photo by Amit Roth In November 2020, voters unanimously …
The MQ’s Black Friday Plan
Click to view in higher quality
Microsoft Introduces Windows Remote Defender
Recent reports claim that federal politicians are “freaking the fuck out.”Photo by Jordan Whitlow In the release notes for the upcoming version 25H1 of Windows 11, …
UCSD’s All-New Streaming Service, TritonLink+
Click to view in higher quality
My ‘Winter Alpha Arc’ Was Found to Just Be Depression
I’ve been on something of a self-improvement journey as of late. It all started when I was doing my daily doomscrolling, and I came across a …
Susan Bagel: Eggs
A raw egg that falls, splatters. A boiled egg that falls merely cracks. My local supermarket recently began stocking dark yolk eggs. What is a yolk? …
