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Trump Declares Time Is Relative, No Need for Third Term
“Time, just like the law, is fluid,” said Trump.Photo by Janice Kim In a press conference Thursday night, President Donald Trump announced he was no longer …
Susan Bagel: Lemonade
The first warm night of the year. When the birds begin to settle in the trees, all gesture and swoop silhouetted by the burning orange evening, …
Chemistry Department to Implement Official ‘Weeder Course’
“This is not what I thought the class was going to teach,” said one stoner.Photo by Amit Roth In an effort to “weed out the weak,” …
La Jolla Homesteaders Share Plight
“I love how cottagecore this is!”, said one attendee.Photo by Liv Gilbert Members of La Jolla Homesteading took to the streets this week to oppose public …
UCSD Fertility Dorms to Combat Falling Population Rates
Anonymous sources report that Genesis 38 will soon be added to UCSD’s Principles of Community.Photo by Erica Rosslee In a bold move that university officials are …
Maybe Cool It On the Parties vs. Your Mom Pays Me To Be Your Friend
Point: Maybe Cool It On the Parties Hey, man. I can tell you’ve been pretty stressed about your homework lately. And I get it! Finals season …
Department of Education Opens UC Guantanamo Bay
“Why would I speak up? I’m not a student,” said one community member.Photo by Janice Kim On Tuesday, the Trump administration announced a commitment to a …
