Top Ten
Top Ten Things that Will Happen If California Secedes
UC Riverside’s national ranking will rise exponentially Nevada will finally get the coastline it has always wanted We’ll get to use the metric system like normal …
Top Ten Similarities Between Babies and Cinnamon Rolls
“I have one in the oven” Just kind of a messy ordeal If left alone long enough, both will grow hair Generally do better if paler …
Top Ten Reasons to Cut Down More Trees
It’s currently too easy to breathe To spruce up your dorm room Where else is Seventh College going to go? Because no one heard you the …
Top Ten Reasons to Switch to Bigger Tires
Your Civic isn’t as big as that Hummer and you need to compensate Bigger tire fires The third round of the tire toss is coming up …
Top Ten Things Your Professor has Done to Try and Relate to You
Forgotten the TA’s name Shared their AOL username When they introduced iClickers, they also turned around, looked at the slide and groaned Asked you to swipe …
Top Ten Things You Can Do to Push Your Cool RA’s Limits
Ask them if you can sleep in their bed tonight, since there’s lightning and thunder outside Sell weed out of your dorm and give them a …
Top Ten Excuses You Can Make Up to Get An Extension on That Paper
My grandma ate my homework and then died Until we find a better alternative to actual paper, I refuse to print mine The guy that I …
Top Ten Ways to Get Rid of the Song Stuck in Your Head
Print out the lyrics and then eat the page Drink some water, hold your breath and then stand upside down Sing the song backwards “Jenny took …
Top Ten Problems Hiding Under Your Kitchen Sink
A smaller kitchen sink Your downstairs neighbors The bleach and ammonia are getting too cozy together Your foot — you’ve been stuck here for hours The …
Top Ten Reasons to Love Election Years
You really love seeing rich white people tell you why they’re exactly like you Stealing yard signs is your favorite pastime You were in danger of …
