- You really love seeing rich white people tell you why they’re exactly like you
- Stealing yard signs is your favorite pastime
- You were in danger of forgetting about 9/11
- You were born on Election Day, so you only get to celebrate your birthday during election years
- None. Your father was killed by an election year
- You get to see Jimmy Fallon do impressions of people he’s not good at doing impressions of
- You’re treated like the one-dimensional demographic you always knew you were
- It’s a Goodyear™ for corporate sponsorships
- Every election year is four years closer to the earth being absorbed into the sun
- Free stickers
Last modified: January 4, 2019
