Written by: The MQ

  1. It’s currently too easy to breathe
  2. To spruce up your dorm room
  3. Where else is Seventh College going to go?
  4. Because no one heard you the last time you cut one down
  5. The FDA won’t let you test reverse sap injection on humans
  6. The fewer trees in the Amazon, the faster the shipping
  7. You’re tired of your cat getting stuck in them
  8. Little Bobby can’t complain about not having a treehouse if there are no trees
  9. The environmentalist need something to protest — they don’t have much going for them
  10. You’re a thrill seeker and your current dildo isn’t cutting it

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