Written by: The MQ

  1. Ask them if you can sleep in their bed tonight, since there’s lightning and thunder outside
  2. Sell weed out of your dorm and give them a cut
  3. Go to all their events but don’t check in
  4. Temporarily house refugees while they search for better housing, but do it longer than you’re allowed to have guests
  5. Start drinking a bottle of beer in front of them, but before they write you up, tell them they have to roll for perception
  6. Ask them if you can have fresh milk. When they say “okay,” say, “Alright, but I’m letting you know now that the manure will be a problem”
  7. “What walks on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and is going to get super hammered this weekend?”
  8. Lead them to a switch that can redirect a speeding trolley from five people to one person
  9. Ask them if they believe in aliens, and if they say yes, say, “Okay, aliens punched that hole in my wall when they were drunk”
  10. Introduce them to your kid, who’s living with you

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