- Ask them if you can sleep in their bed tonight, since there’s lightning and thunder outside
- Sell weed out of your dorm and give them a cut
- Go to all their events but don’t check in
- Temporarily house refugees while they search for better housing, but do it longer than you’re allowed to have guests
- Start drinking a bottle of beer in front of them, but before they write you up, tell them they have to roll for perception
- Ask them if you can have fresh milk. When they say “okay,” say, “Alright, but I’m letting you know now that the manure will be a problem”
- “What walks on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and is going to get super hammered this weekend?”
- Lead them to a switch that can redirect a speeding trolley from five people to one person
- Ask them if they believe in aliens, and if they say yes, say, “Okay, aliens punched that hole in my wall when they were drunk”
- Introduce them to your kid, who’s living with you
Last modified: January 3, 2019
