Briefs
Vegan Meals at Roots Found to Contain Actual Vegans
HDH has received numerous complaints about the alleged addition of meat to supposedly vegan meals at Roots. Warren College first-year Rainn Wanatamatanabewan was reportedly among those …
Local Student “Loves to Have Fun”
Gerald Martinez, third year San Diego State student, came under nationwide scrutiny after posting a series of statements on his Facebook, the most controversial being “I …
Chrome Bug Releases Incognito History To Your Parents; “I Can Explain”
Last weekend, Chrome’s most recent bug, “Bedbugiezz,” sent extensive incognito web-history lists to parents. Flabbergasted and unable to form words, like always, pre-teens across the nation …
UCSD Football Player Dies of Head Trauma
In a sad turn of events, Peyton F. Bawl, UCSD’s star quarterback player has succumbed to his injuries and died. Bawl was UCSD’s hero in its …
New Study Finds Nothing Really, Like, Matters, Dude
A new study from the Institute of the Pacific found that like, when you think about it dude, none of this shit matters. The study was …
Scientists Finally Uncover the Mystery of Dog Reproduction
A recent study by the University of California, San Diego Biology department has revealed, after so many years, just how canines reproduce. This discovery was facilitated …
Supreme Court Makes Historic Decision, Language of Love Not a Recognized Dialect
The Supreme Court passed down a landmark decision last month, ruling that the “Language of Love” was not a dialect in the eyes of the US …
Study Finds Slamming Tables to be Cause of the United States’ Strength as Nation
A new study found that the act of standing up during corporate meetings and frustratingly lashing out by slamming one’s hands on various conference tables is …
Gas Prices at Record Lows, Still Higher Than Your GPA
Last Tuesday gas prices finally reached a record low, after dropping steadily for the last few months. Unfortunately for you, however, they still haven’t managed to …
