Articles
White Ann Arbor Child Finds Worm in Apple, Michigan Governor Issues State of Emergency
Late last week, in the wake of the Flint water crisis, Michigan Governor Rick Snyder issued a second state of emergency, after Timmy Smithy-Johnson, son of …
HarperCollins Announces Release of Newly-Discovered Harper Lee “Lost Manuscripts”
In the wake of the recent passing of Harper Lee, author of the classic novel “To Kill a Mockingbird,” the HarperCollins publishing company announced the discovery …
Californians Forced to Choose Between Water and Food, Almonds Win
In a historic referendum late last month, Californians decided that they would rather try to survive without water than go without food. Governor Jerry Brown put …
Catholics Postpone St. Patrick’s Day until after Lent, Plan to Get Drunk Guilt-Free
For the first time in history, the Vatican has selected to change the date of this year’s St. Patrick’s Day from March 17 to March 28, …
LAPD Officers Arrested in LAPD Drug Bust on LAPD Cocaine Stronghold
An enormous drug bust carried out by local authorities in a San Bernadino suburb Monday morning resulted in the seizure of millions of dollars’ worth of …
Badass First Year Skips First Discussion Section of His College Career
When first-year UCSD student David Jones finally found the courage to skip his 8 a.m. Math 10A discussion section last Monday at Warren Lecture Hall, he …
Far Right Calls for End to Annual Migration of Monarch Butterflies
The presidential campaign took yet another interesting turn late last month, as a far-right political party called for a press conference to demand a stop to …
Area Man Recycles, Saves Planet
The eyes of the world were focused on San Diego today, as area man Chase Baron officially saved the planet by recycling his 12-oz can of …
Woman Confused Why There’s a Reporter at Her Door
San Diego resident Claudia Barsetti reportedly answered her door early Tuesday afternoon in a state of confusion to find a newspaper reporter asking her questions about …
New Hazard Labels Required for Women in STEM to Ensure Proper Handling
A new line of women’s lab coats equipped with mandatory hazard labels has been issued, free of charge, to all scientific research institutions across the nation …
