Justin Xu
Yellowface Returns to Hollywood
Zwick insists, Korean or not, that his movies have Seoul.Photo by Janice Kim Last week, Hollywood director Don Zwick reignited controversy over his latest film, a …
Money Talks
Social media influencer Rich Boye went viral recently with claims that the cash in his wallet had gained the ability to produce human speech, and that …
Geekvape Launches Pacifiers
“I am ripping phat cloudz off this cart. JUULius Caesar is almost empty,” said preschooler Little Jimmy.Photo by Dylan Schmidt Geekvape, a leading manufacturer of electronic …
Gov. Newsom to Screen Homeless Population from Public View
“This is an outrage!” said one student. “Which soup kitchen will I get volunteer hours from now?!”Photo by Liv Gilbert Last week, California Governor Gavin Newsom …
Jake Paul Challenges Hospice Residents to Next Fight
After Jake Paul prevailed in his fight against former heavyweight champion Mike Tyson, he left the ring with a message about his next match: “No old …
Sleeper Agent Refuses to Wake Up
Intelligence agent handler Sashley Sandler has been struggling to “wake up” Donny Joe, one of the sleeper agents under her jurisdiction. “He ignores me every time …
Convict Escapes from Prison by Completing Sentence
“He walked by the cop and the cop didn’t arrest him,” said local man Hale Mather. “Defund the police.”Photo by Amit Roth Recently, a wave of …
Wealthy Children Scared of ‘Middle Class Monster’
This year, wealthy parents in Beverly Hills are using a new method to scare their children into behaving. Instead of using classic monsters like the Bogeyman, …
SDPD Union Asks Public to ‘Stop Being Mean’
“Oh my god, an explosion! I wonder whose job it is to take care of that,” said one officer.Photo by Dylan Schmidt Last week, SDPD union …
Dave Chappelle Sprains Elbow Punching Down
Stand-up comic Dave Chappelle recently canceled all upcoming shows for the foreseeable future. “I woke up like I did any other day, thanking God for making …
