The MQ
Woman Late to Give Mother’s Day Gift to Mother She Murdered
Area woman Shane Daniels realized yesterday that she had failed to purchase and give a thoughtful Mother’s Day gift to her mother, whose body she left …
Updated CAPEs to Include Judgement of Peers
In a sweeping new initiative intended to solve all problems with educational feedback, the evaluations students fill out each quarter at the University of California, San …
Catholics Postpone St. Patrick’s Day until after Lent, Plan to Get Drunk Guilt-Free
For the first time in history, the Vatican has selected to change the date of this year’s St. Patrick’s Day from March 17 to March 28, …
Badass First Year Skips First Discussion Section of His College Career
When first-year UCSD student David Jones finally found the courage to skip his 8 a.m. Math 10A discussion section last Monday at Warren Lecture Hall, he …
Student Forgets to Set Alarm Before 15-Minute Power Nap, Sleeps for a Week
In an unfortunate but unsurprising turn of events earlier this Winter Quarter, a UCSD undergraduate found himself living many college students’ worst nightmare: accidentally sleeping through …
Students Celebrate Rich History of St. Patrick’s Day by Wearing Green, Drinking to Excess
This March, UCSD students will commemorate St. Patrick, the man recognized by the Catholic Church as being on par with the original twelve apostles, by getting …
Standing in Line Point/Counter Point
Point: I Just Need a Second to Decide Between the BLT Sandwich and the Caesar Salad Oh, just give me one more minute, I can’t decide …
New Study Finds People Have 14 Unspeakable Thoughts Per Day
A study released by the Bureau of Psychology revealed that, on average, people have 14 “depraved, unspeakable” thoughts per day. The study defined an “unspeakable” thought …
Top Ten Things Lassie Was Actually Trying to Tell You
I pushed Timmy down a well You really need to do a better job fake-crying if you really want that Emmy Be sure to drink your …
Top Ten Things Politicians Fail to Understand about the Human Body
Normal humans feel guilt Your skin color is not determined by any adherence to moral codes or statistical probability of being convicted of a crime Guns, …
