After four years, graduate Taylor Urke is excited to follow the logical conclusion of their decisions and enter the job market as an hourly retail worker.

“It feels like yesterday that I was trolleying my suitcases into my dorm and finding the only available bunk in my triple to be the corner bottom one with a radiator under the pillow. And here I am four years later, still settling.”

“I mean, it was exciting to learn about my field, but after complaining about people in my classes for years, it only recently occurred to me that these would be my future coworkers.”

Despite having sown the seeds of their own destruction, Urke has dedicated themselves to maintaining an optimistic facade by repeating the phrase “I strongly believe I could make a career here” in the mirror and calculating how much one makes monthly on minimum wage.

“It’ll be fine,” Urke said, pacing in front of the Career Services Center. “Meanwhile, I think I’ll fill out some grad school applications, so I can continue pretending this is just a stepping stone.”

Written by: Evan Burke