The MQ
Out-of-State Student’s Fish Dies Just in Time for Summer Break
Local betta fish, Jason Sparklefin, was found dead late Monday night at the age of eight months, due to reported malnutrition. His death was confirmed Tuesday …
Figurative Language: As Useless as a Hole-Filled Umbrella during a Hailstorm
Figurative language. Nothing is more confusing to me than the use of figurative language. I don’t understand why everyone feels the need to use all of …
Norwegian Prison Modeled After California University
As a new experimental part of Norway’s systematic prison reform, an inquiry into modeling future prisons after many California universities has been initiated. This reform is …
Reading, England Discovered to be Where Reading Was Invented
British historian Donald Wobbley has uncovered evidence that reading was first invented in Reading, England around 2200 BCE. Since 1927, it has been widely known that …
Lin-Manuel Miranda Wins Nobel Prize, Puerto Rican Gubernatorial Office
Lin-Manuel Miranda, “Hamilton” playwright and star, has won both a Nobel Prize and the office of Governor of Puerto Rico last Tuesday, in addition to being …
Top Ten Ways to Show Up at a Wedding Unannounced
In 2003, with a search warrant for WMDs With a ring to propose to your girlfriend who’s the maid of honor While admitting that no, you …
Top Ten Ways You Can Rephrase your College Experience for Your Resume
Did extensive four-year study on the effect of an all-carb diet on health and mental wellness “According to my blood tests, I’m actually 73 percent a …
Top Ten Ways to Get Out of the Conversation “How’s School Going?”
Crumple a potato chip bag and say “Oh, we’re breaking up. I can’t hear you” “My law degree is going well, but first I’d like to …
Top Ten Lesser-Known Crimes that Will Still Get You 30 to Life
Downloading a car Lying on your music practice card “Marriage, am I right, sonny boy?” Public un-nudity in a nudist colony Leaving your freshman suite door …
UCSD Graduate Eager to Feel Overqualified In Retail
After four years, graduate Taylor Urke is excited to follow the logical conclusion of their decisions and enter the job market as an hourly retail worker. …
