The MQ
Top Ten Ways to Get Rid of the Song Stuck in Your Head
Print out the lyrics and then eat the page Drink some water, hold your breath and then stand upside down Sing the song backwards “Jenny took …
Libertarian Party Polls at Record Highs, Nobody Notices
Recent polls show Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson polling at an earth-shattering 13 percent versus Democratic and Republican candidates Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, respectively. “This is …
Dakota Pipeline Helpfully Threatens Native Lands
Energy Transfer’s Dakota Access Pipeline, a projected crude oil pipe spanning North and South Dakota, Iowa, and Illinois, has received great praise in recent weeks for …
Only Good Roles for Actresses Over 50 are as Asian Men, Tilda Swinton Shows
As Doctor Strange is set for release in early November, with a projected opening weekend box office in the hundred millions, more actresses are realizing that …
Student Happy to Spend Entire Summer and Bank Account on Internship
As the academic year starts again at UCSD, most returning students will be entering the lecture halls, reminiscing with their friends and sharing tales of traveling, …
That Rainbow in the Sky is Too Radical
I saw a rainbow in the sky yesterday, right in between a cloud and a patch of blue, and I’m not saying I have a problem …
Bus Driver Giveth, Taketh Away, Doesn’t Let You On
You are in line for the bus. The line wraps around the corner of the block, towards the bottomless abyss of Never Getting to Class on …
Top Ten Problems Hiding Under Your Kitchen Sink
A smaller kitchen sink Your downstairs neighbors The bleach and ammonia are getting too cozy together Your foot — you’ve been stuck here for hours The …
Top Ten Reasons to Love Election Years
You really love seeing rich white people tell you why they’re exactly like you Stealing yard signs is your favorite pastime You were in danger of …
Top Fifteen Similarities Between Meeting Your Roommates and the Cuban Missile Crisis
Created a rift of tension for the next 40 years You were an hour late for it You went into it with the intent of imposing …
