Oxford Comma Sues UCSD for Lack of Use, Malpractice and Negligence

Briefs

Written by: The MQ

In a release, the Oxford Comma claims that UCSD’s negligence has led to grievous errors over the past five years. In addition, UCSD is accused of negatively influencing students and encouraging reckless writing.

The most notable of the examples cited by the Comma involved Mu Epsilon Nu, a fraternity formed by UCSD students in 2012. Members advertised that the party would include “great food, hot chicks and dope dudes.” It took the police three days to discover the cannibalistic massacre that occurred in the frat house that night. According to the Oxford comma, such incidents would have been avoided had the university employed the Oxford commas in its own promotional materials, police warnings and staff death notices.

“A school should act as a guide for students,” the Comma told the media. “It should never encourage Anglophobic behavior by ostracizing rational elements of grammar.”

UCSD released a short statement about the case last Friday: “This university is a respectable institution with fun things to do, advanced labs and serious students. Frankly, the London semicolon is confusing and has no place in this tech magn — I mean school. Well-rounded school.” The trial takes place Nov. 11th.

Written by: Alexandria Vollhardt

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