The MQ

"I'm ready to die now. Tonight"

- Katya Zamolodchikova,
The Only High-Class Russian Whore 

June 3, 2026 You look delectable. Volume XXXII Issue VII
  • Home
  • Articles
    • News
      • Campus
      • Local
      • Politics
      • Tech
    • Opinion
      • Editorial
      • Point – Counter Point
  • Features
    • Center Spread
    • Back Page
  • Other Content
    • Top Ten
    • Briefs
    • Sunday Comics
    • Online Exclusives
    • Skyboxes
  • Volumes
  • Join Us
  • About
    • Staff
    • Editors
  • Contact
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Instagram
    • TikTok
    • Email

The MQ

Top Ten

February 8, 2023

Top Ten Cure-Alls

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten

February 8, 2023

Top Ten Things to Do by Yourself on Valentine’s Day

Written by: The MQ

Features • Other Features

February 8, 2023

The MQ’s Booth at the Flea Market

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten

February 8, 2023

Top Ten Things That Happen Every Time You Blink

Written by: The MQ

Center Spread • Features

February 8, 2023

The MQ Goes to the Year 1023

Written by: The MQ

Features • Other Features

February 8, 2023

The MQ’s Book of World Records

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten

February 8, 2023

Top Ten Fastest Ways to Get to School

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten

February 8, 2023

Top Ten Things to Tell Your Barber After They Cut Your Hair

Written by: The MQ

Features • Other Features

February 8, 2023

What’s Your Love Language?

Written by: The MQ

Back Page • Features

February 8, 2023

The MQ’s Spring Olympics

Written by: The MQ

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 27 28 29 … 83 Next

Half-Dome Lounge
Tuesdays, 6-7 p.m.

Discord Logo

Contact us by pager, or just join our Discord.

Instagram Logo

Looking for more satire? Check out our Instagram exclusives!

The News in Brief

  • June 10, 2026

    AUTISM DEEMED ‘TRENDY’

    In a recent internet frenzy, users have crowned autism as the new “trendy thing to have.” Followers of this trend have flooded social media sites with …

  • GKN AEROSPACE ANNOUNCES TREBUCHET-POWERED CLEANUP PLAN

    June 10, 2026

  • UCSD CATAN TEAM MAKES A DEBUT IN COMPETITION

    June 10, 2026

  • PRESIDENT TRUMP EATS IRANIANPEACE DELEGATION

    June 10, 2026

  • Local Band Crystal Belles Amasses Triton Cash Fortune

    March 11, 2026

  • Second Iran War Scheduled for Q4 2028

    March 11, 2026

  • BORGmania Sweeps UCSD

    March 11, 2026

High in fiber! Feels even better coming out than going in.

MQ Self-Ad Banner

First they came for the gays, then they came for the satirists...

MQ Self-Ad Banner

Award-losing Journalism!

MQ Self-Ad Banner

Online Exclusive

  • June 10, 2026

    Pharmaceutical Company Unveils New ‘Soma’ Wellness Pills

    On March 8, Bernard Huxley, CEO of “wellness corporation” HuxleyHealth, which offers Instagram Reel–based primary care and supplementals announced BigBrother would be releasing a line of …

Purrusing the Paper

MQ Self-Ad Banner

You wouldn’t steal
a newspaper!

A car, however...

MQ Self-Ad Banner
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • About The MQ
  • Issuu
Powered by WordPress and Story Magazine.

© 2026 The Muir Quarterly