- Who is Dan Druff?
- Takes off wig OK, you pass the test
- Could you cut it a little longer?
- When does your cosmetology license expire?
- I thought you were only going to cut one hair
- Quick, cut it again, it’s growing!
- You should consider going pro
- Wait, this isn’t the car dealership…
- Can I take that to go?
- I once killed a man
The MQ is the premier satire magazine at UC San Diego