Fourth-Year Student Looks Forward to 10th “Fresh Start to College” This Quarter

Written by: Dexter Hamilton

Chou asked: “I know my GPA is low, but what are my chances of being able to join CS this year?”
Photo by Stephen Lightfoot

Local UCSD fourth-year Devin Chou is reportedly “very excited” to begin his 10th quarter of college. “It’s my senior year, when classes start becoming even more difficult than before, but I’ve totally got this. Really, I’ve never felt so in the zone. I feel like I’ll be able to focus like never before. I’m aiming to exceed my personal best of attending 53 percent of my lectures. I thought I had a good chance last spring, but it was tough to make it from my bed to my desk two feet away by 2 p.m. I think I’ve learned from my mistakes there — this time I have my laptop charging on my bed at night so I don’t have to move as much in the morning.”

When asked about his history with academics, Chou claimed the journey had been strenuous. “Before the switch to remote learning, I had been making some progress. At one point, I attended a class four times in a row and even had an assignment done a couple hours before its due date. At some point though, I’d forget to pay attention, and then I would think, ‘Oh well, I’m behind on content so this next lecture won’t make sense.’ It’s a slippery slope. Next thing you know, it’s week 10, and I’m sleeping from 8 a.m. to 10 p.m. on a daily basis, just trying to daily remember what lecture hall my member class was in so I can go bribe my professor with a good CAPE review.”

But Chou has high hopes for the future. “This time will be different, I swear. My friends ask me how this quarter will be any different than the previous nine fresh starts where I apparently said the exact same thing, but they have no idea what they’re talking about. I just feel like this time I’ve really eliminated the distractions from my ed life. Oh wait, one second, I’m getting a text. Can we finish this later?”

“Other than an upcoming presidential election, the fact that half the state has been burned to a crisp, police brutality and the failure to address itm the dissolving legitimacy of the judiciary with congress denying an icon of the Supreme Court her dying wish, paying $20,000 a year for Zoom classes, trying to figure out what to do with my life if I manage to graduate this year, failing to keep up with people I care about when I haven’t seen them in seven months, an attack on the postal service of all things, and the coronavirus, which has killed 200,000 Americans while being politicized, resulting in countless more deaths than necessary, while also extending the amount of time we spend with our lives in upheaval, there’s basically nothing else going on.”

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