Volume 31 Issue 5
Raccoons to Exterminate Pitcher Plants that Exterminate Raccoons
“I’m too smart to fall into a pitcher PLAAAAAAAAAAANT!” said one student.Photo by Jordan Whitlow After a record number of students were offered on-campus housing through …
AI-Run X Accounts Devalue Words, Pictures Now Worth 2000
“Forcing my oomfs to take the Turing Test”, said one X user.Photo by Amit Roth and Claire Cover Twitter, formally known as X, allowed users to …
Traffic Laws Apply to Scooters Too vs. Huh? I Can’t Hear You Through My AirPods
Point: Traffic Laws Apply to Scooters Too It totally didn’t surprise me last week when I was walking to my 12 p.m. discussion at the top …
State to Become Church
“What if thy neighbor is a Democrat?” asked Alito.Photo by Ezra Bihis Following a 233-year-long separation, Church and State reunited in the US Department of Justice …
Mexico Renames Mall of America
“This is easily the hardest class I’ve ever taken,” said one International Business major.Photo by Liv Gilbert Mexican President Claudia Sheinbaum announced that Mexico will be …
Democrats Deny Existence of Trump
“It’s pretty crazy that we don’t have a President, but I guess we’ll make do,” said one Democrat.Photo by Dylan Schmidt With Republicans controlling all branches …
It’s Really Hard Being The Little Stinker of American Law
Listen, in my heart, fundamentally, I’m just a chill guy, you know? I went to Yale, sure, but not in a lame, pretentious way, only because …
