Volume 22
Nick Jonas Produces “Brokeback Mountain” Remake, Plays All Roles
After his stunning role as a shirtless, gay MMA Fighter in “Kingdom,” his role as a shirtless, gay frat boy in “Scream Queens,” and as a …
Top Ten Upcoming Alternative Energy Sources
Plug two generators into one another for endless energy Give internship credit to undergraduates for sitting around and spinning a wheel Power a generator with heat …
Top Ten Differences between Your Shoes and Hillary Clinton’s Shoes
One pair belongs to a lying, corrupt politician, and the other belongs to Clinton Yours are black and hers are a darker shade of black Her …
Top Ten Things Holding Back the Realization of a Modern-Day Utopia
Eve. Couldn’t she have just eaten the pear? Vertically sliced bread isn’t a thing yet Did you know that some states still have laws restricting gerrymandering? …
Top Ten Problems You First Encounter In College
Fighting on the playground The human body contains about 3.5 more liters of blood than your bucket can handle The realization that life is just series …
Top Ten Regrets from Black Friday
Grabbing a shopping cart instead of a basket. You’re just slowing yourself down Being a participant in the trampling death of that old woman, but also …
Backpacks Lack Tact When Used in Sack
Recent feedback on the rucksack sex act reveals the sad sack fallback is a drawback. Once popular in the time of smokestacks and railroad tracks, the …
Facebook debuts Second-Order Read Receipts, You’re the Asshole Again
Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg introduced a wave of new features to the website last week, chief among them what he’s calling “second order read receipts.” “This …
Officials Propose Cancellation of Sun God Cancellation Proposal
The Sun God Festival’s team, along with Vice Chancellor of Student Affairs Juan Gonzalez, met this month to discuss the future of proposals to permanently cancel …
Cru and InterVarsity Hold Price War on Library Walk Hugs
This past Wednesday, to coincide with the approach of finals, Campus Crusade for Christ and InterVarsity both offered hugs for charity on Library Walk, resulting in …
