November 1, 2023 Read it and weep profusely. Volume XXX Issue II

Written by: The MQ

  1. Grabbing a shopping cart instead of a basket. You’re just slowing yourself down
  2. Being a participant in the trampling death of that old woman, but also your new flat screen is curved and that’s pretty nice
  3. Texting while driving
  4. Designing your barricade poorly. Provided it’s hit the right way, all force is focused on one bolt and the barricade will shear and kill one of your employees
  5. Taking out a third mortgage on your house to buy Thanksgiving decorations in bulk
  6. Thinking Black Friday was a month-long thing. For the past few weeks you’ve been punching toddlers in the face for no reason
  7. Buying the store’s entire supply of milk. Now you have to drink all of this in seven days or you’re going to lose money
  8. Going to Best Buy in a blue polo shirt
  9. Not reading carefully enough, and coming back with a set of 12 nonstick paninis
  10. Forgetting it was Black Friday

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