Briefs
Dining Hall Drinks Require Biometric Scans
In a controversial move, Housing, Dining and Hospitality has partnered with PepsiCo and Amazon to introduce a line of all-new soft drink machines that use biometrics …
ICE Sets Sights on Canadians
Following the Trump administration’s promise to “carry out the largest domestic deportation operation in American history,” random stops and arrests are on the rise. Despite the …
Mind Control Made ‘Believable’
Self-proclaimed “scientist” Kray D. Bill has recently become the center of attention on X, formerly known as Twitter, after claiming to have discovered mind control. “When …
Legislator Campaigns for ‘Trump Love’
On Monday, House Representative Niedaman Inme (R-Georgia) introduced legislation that would criminalize the depiction of “unnatural relationships” in children’s media. Taking aim at “woke media corporations” …
Academy Awards Voting Body Revealed to Be ‘Four White Men’
On March 2, the 97th annual Oscars were held at the Dolby Theater in Los Angeles, one mile away from the recent Palisades fire. During the …
Open Season Declared On Seals
On March 3, the Trump administration announced that beginning in April, they will allow the hunting of a previously protected endangered species of seals. According to …
Google Debuts Uneditable Spellchecker for Names
Following President Trump’s inauguration, Alphabet, Google’s parent company, announced that they were debuting a new feature across Google products: spell check for names. “For too long …
UC San Diego Office For Students With Disabilities Under Oversight
The UC San Diego Office for Students with Disabilities (OSD) has asked the UCSD ADA Coordinator to provide oversight after precedented delays in sending out student …
PETA Breaks into Scripps Institute of Oceanography
Recently, activists from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) broke into the Scripps Institute of Oceanography in response to “blatant animal cruelty” in a …
Money Talks
Social media influencer Rich Boye went viral recently with claims that the cash in his wallet had gained the ability to produce human speech, and that …