Politics
Poll Reports 75 Percent of Millennials Would Vote for Corpse of Bernie Sanders in 2020
CNN released a poll on Wednesday, September 12, finding that 75 percent of millenials are willing to vote for the corpse of Bernie Sanders in the …
ICE Raids Funeral, Asks Deceased for Identification
A new border security policy has gone into effect nationwide, as Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agents conduct searches of the funerals of deceased immigrants believed …
The United States Imposes Sanctions on the United States
President Trump announced Tuesday that the United States would impose economic sanctions on the United States. These sanctions are the latest in an ongoing trade war …
Secretary of the Interior’s Attempts To Shrink Yellowstone Thwarted by Bear Cub
After two weeks of conversing with petroleum companies, conservationists, legal authorities, President Trump, and his own wife, Secretary of the Interior Ryan Zinke finally got the …
High School History Teacher Imprisoned for Violating Second Amendment
A Florida instructor is the first person in the nation to be detained for violating the Second Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. Following a suggestion by …
New Artificially Intelligent Chairs Develop Strong Opinions on Politics
This month, the tech company “Chairish.” has come out with a leap in artificial intelligence technology. Designed for the typical American family, Chairish.’s new dining room …
Social Media Companies Fix Fake News Problem, Nothing Changes
After being alerted to the issue of false stories spread online, companies like Twitter, YouTube, and Facebook systematically purged all publishers of fake news from their …
U.S. Children Secede, Form Gun-Free Country
This month, former U.S. citizens under the age of 18 established a gun-free country called Kidonia in response to decades of inaction over school shootings. “We …
Trump Administration Scandal-Free for 13.5 Hours
President Trump has caused many quarrels among the people of the United States about the frequency with which he has created controversies over the course of …
Putin Invited into Trump’s Tree House, but Not in a “Buddy Buddy” Way
On February 13, international news publications reported that U.S. troops killed up to 100 Russian fighters after they attacked a U.S. held base in Syria. At …
