News
Muir Introduces School of Life, MQ Office to Be Removed
“Anyone got space for 26 office chairs and a mannequin?” asked one editor.Photo by Amit Roth This year, Muir College debuts its new “School of Life” …
Philippine Political Dynasty Declares Trump ‘Woke’
Trump allegedly plans to annex the Philippines again in a reported “power move.”Photo by Amit Roth Early Monday morning, thousands gathered in Davao City, Philippines for …
Business Department Mandates Monopoly for Course Credit
“This is easily the hardest class I’ve ever taken,” said one International Business major.Photo by Jordan Whitlow Following a recent survey that revealed that approximately 99.99% …
American Dream Deported
“At least we still have Manifest Destiny,” said Hare.Photo by Jordan Whitlow Leaked internal Immigrations and Customs Enforcement (ICE) communications revealed that last week, officers located …
Forks on Roads Increase Traffic
“Silver? Where?” said one driver.Photo by Austin Choy Last month, the Bureau of Accelerating Inland Transportation (BAIT), a recently established California government agency, passed a bill …
Bathroom Partitions Unite Partisan Politics
“We may not be able to reach across the isle, but we sure can reach across the stall,”said one bathroom-goer.Photo by Justin Xu Recently, a proposed …
UCSD to Replace Methane Burning Power Plant with Coal
“The ’20s are back! The 1820’s, that is,” said one student.Photo by Dylan Schmidt Last week, UC San Diego reaffirmed its continued commitment to protecting the …
The Students v. UC San Diego
“Why do people keep telling me not to Google ‘hung jury’?” asked one juror.Photo by Amit Roth After the filing of a class-action lawsuit in early …
Raccoons to Exterminate Pitcher Plants that Exterminate Raccoons
“I’m too smart to fall into a pitcher PLAAAAAAAAAAANT!” said one student.Photo by Jordan Whitlow After a record number of students were offered on-campus housing through …
