Articles
Muir Introduces School of Life, MQ Office to Be Removed
“Anyone got space for 26 office chairs and a mannequin?” asked one editor.Photo by Amit Roth This year, Muir College debuts its new “School of Life” …
Philippine Political Dynasty Declares Trump ‘Woke’
Trump allegedly plans to annex the Philippines again in a reported “power move.”Photo by Amit Roth Early Monday morning, thousands gathered in Davao City, Philippines for …
Business Department Mandates Monopoly for Course Credit
“This is easily the hardest class I’ve ever taken,” said one International Business major.Photo by Jordan Whitlow Following a recent survey that revealed that approximately 99.99% …
American Dream Deported
“At least we still have Manifest Destiny,” said Hare.Photo by Jordan Whitlow Leaked internal Immigrations and Customs Enforcement (ICE) communications revealed that last week, officers located …
Forks on Roads Increase Traffic
“Silver? Where?” said one driver.Photo by Austin Choy Last month, the Bureau of Accelerating Inland Transportation (BAIT), a recently established California government agency, passed a bill …
Traffic Laws Apply to Scooters Too vs. Huh? I Can’t Hear You Through My AirPods
Point: Traffic Laws Apply to Scooters Too It totally didn’t surprise me last week when I was walking to my 12 p.m. discussion at the top …
‘Great Frog’ Spawns ‘Mist-erious’ Community Among Literature Students
“It whispers to me when no-one is around,” said Leslie.Photo by Janice Kim Following the start of the rainy season, an ancient water deity revealed itself …
UCSD Mandates ‘Severance Procedure’ for All Students
“They say you shouldn’t dream of schoolwork, now I don’t live it either,” said Scott.Photo by Dylan Schmidt In light of current events, UC San Diego …
Luka Dončić Finds Love on First Date with Lebron James
“A fifth ring for you, Luka,” said James.Photo by Liv Gilbert National Basketball Association (NBA) fans were shocked by a trade that is predicted to impact …
Help! My Roommate was Wounded by a Strange Creature! vs. There Is No Strange Creature
Point: Help! My Roommate was Wounded by a Strange Creature! Last night, my roommate — let’s call her Jane — came back from an 8 p.m. …
