Stephen Lightfoot
Local Senior Procrastinates Having Senioritis
Murphy reported that his nervous system was working just fine because he is “so nervous all time.”Photo by Sharon Roth During a recent intervention staged by his …
Should Guiseppe Mario be in jail? Is he innocent or guilty?
Should Guiseppe Mario be in jail? Is he innocent or guilty? While we’re sure that’s a question that’s on a lot of peoples’ minds, it’s Nintendo …
Meet the Gamer that “Fucking Despises” Gamers
For the first time in 15 years, Nintendo Power sat down with James Laynor, a former Nintendo World Champion and avid gamer to this day! We discussed the changes in gaming culture, and his excitement for some upcoming games on Nintendo Switch!
Kamala Harris Under Fire for Staring at Joe Biden, Tapping Watch, and Sighing
White House staff reported seeing Vice President Harris writing “President Kamala Harris” over and over again on a legal pad.Photo by Maria Dhilla Despite being in office …
Mcdonald’s to Serve Carbonated Eggnog
Mcdonald’s to Serve Carbonated Eggnog In an unexpected move that both horrified and confused consumers nationwide, McDonald’s has announced that they will be serving carbonated eggnog …
Christmas Cancelled After Unmitigated Spread of COVID-19 in Santa’s Workshop
Santa was heard saying, “On Dasher, on Dancer, on Coughy, on Wheezy! On Comet, and Cupid, Fatigue, and Diseasey!”Photo by Sharon Roth As the end of the …
Even I, A Poli Sci Major, Have No Idea What the Fuck is Going On
By Jeremy Rossi Fourth-year Poli Sci Student Oftentimes my friends come to me for my hot takes on current events. And who could blame them? As …
Local CS Student Experiences Immense Relaxation Following Stress Integer Overflow
“Yes, you may have mastered C and C++, but can you see beyond the void?” asked Coren.Photo by Jack Yang After laying in a fetal position, crying, …
I’m Just So Tired About the State of America… vs. Nothing a Bit of Retail Therapy Won’t Fix!
Point: I’m Just So Tired About the State of America… It seems like this year keeps getting worse and worse. I feel like I’ve never been …
Local Graduate Surprised High School Classmate Isn’t Involved In Pyramid Scheme
Local Graduate Surprised High School Classmate Isn’t Involved In Pyramid Scheme In what has been described as “quite pleasant surprise,” UC San Diego graduate Kendrick Nolan …
