The MQ
Climate Change Denier Asked for Proof, Points to Rainbow
Area environmental scientists asked Matthew Baker, a local climate change denier and activist, for proof during a debate on the existence of climate change and humanity’s …
Sarah McLachlan Finally Adopted into Loving Home
Every day in America, thousands of animals suffer from cruelty and neglect. Thousands were rescued last year, and for one Canadian pop star, help finally came. …
PCP
POINT: You’re Making Me Uncomfortable With How Frequently You Write Fanfictions Josh, we need to talk. I know that you’re enjoying your … “creative writing” and I …
EDITORIAL: Baywatch Too Deep for General Audiences
This summer is chock full of studio driven, mass-appeal, action blockbusters leaving little space for anything not trying to gross a billion dollars. From the new …
Study Shows Only Divine Intervention Can Make You Pass This Class
Researchers announced on Wednesday that their extensive data on your history in MATH 20C has revealed that only an act of God could turn your grade …
PCP
POINT: The Waiting Room Chairs in Dr. Schimmel’s Cosmetic Orthodontics Are Geometrically Unfeasible Listen, I love me some Bauhaus inspired Blobitecture seating arrangements as much as the …
Local Student Swears Next Quarter Will Be Better for 12th Quarter in a Row
On Thursday, area cognitive science major Gwen Bradford said that “surely next quarter I’ll get my shit together,” following a quarter of unmet goals and unimpressive …
Mexican Workers Imported by Trump to Build the Wall Flee Across the Country
To the surprise of many Americans, President Trump has recently allowed 3,000 Mexican workers into the United States to fulfill his campaign promise to build a …
Professor Unable to Connect to Projector, Unable to Lecture
Last Monday, David Queology, a professor at UCSD, told reporters that he completely lost his ability to lecture that morning due to irreparable technical difficulties. Queology …
Local Comedian Sure This Joke Will Make Trump Resign
Local stand-up comedian Ashley Morrison wrote a new joke last Friday, which sources say is sure to force Trump to resign. Sources claimed that the joke …
