June 3, 2026 You look delectable. Volume XXXII Issue VII

Top Ten Ways Fathers Show Their Love

Top Ten

Written by: The MQ

February 4, 2026

  1. Crisping up a $5 bill
  2. Giving you a sip of beer
  3. Accepting part-time custody
  4. Reminding you a conversation goes both ways
  5. Sneezing to let you know where he is in the house
  6. Threatening to turn this goddamn car around
  7. Weaponizing his incompetence
  8. Giving dubious legal advice
  9. Responding with “Go ask your mom”
  10. Leaving

The MQ

The premier satire publication at UC San Diego.

Last modified: February 2, 2026