SeaWorld Files Defamation Suit Against Disney


Written by: Amit Roth

SeaWorld Files Defamation Suit Against Disney

This month, Disney fans of all ages flooded the seats of their local living rooms to turn on Disney+ for the live-action Pinocchio. However, the staff of San Diego’s SeaWorld was less enthused, and took legal action to “blow a hole” in Disney’s demonization of animals.

SeaWorld’s onsite director Dr. Maureen Boljee revealed in her lawsuit how Disney didn’t detail how their 40-year-old sperm whale William would be portrayed in their new film. “We thought it was gonna be a Free Willy remake or something,” said Dr. Boljee, “but they staged poor William to be some kind of monster! He’d never harm a soul, let alone eat a geriatric pervert and his wooden child.”

On Twitter, avid SeaWorld attendees have been extremely vocal in their thoughts on the live-action version. @freedwilly tweeted, “Including Monstro in the remake completely misinterprets the majesty of cetaceans. I thought we left that barbarity in the forties.” @whalecommasperm quote tweeted this, saying, “Don’t forget that William is a PRINCE among whales, the CGI work really did him dirty.”

As he was unable to attend the court proceedings, William submitted his waiver of presence in song form. The plea was “majestic,” but the judge deemed it inadmissible.

Amit is a cog in this machine. But doesn't everything run on optic cables or something?

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