- Because God said so
- Because otherwise we wouldn’t be able to say “My god is better than your god” to third world countries
- I didn’t waste 15 dollars on a “Coexist” bumper sticker for nothing
- Someone told me I am loved, and I can’t think of any other explanation
- Because 18 years of resisting masturbation would have been wasted
- I saw him behind a Target after eight Five-Hour Energies
- Because I need a good excuse to watch VeggieTales
- I would know. We’re tight
- I mean, doesn’t everyone have that voice in their head telling them to kill their firstborn?
- If he didn’t exist, I’d just look like a bigot
Last modified: January 15, 2019
