Area student Hayden Collins has had a messy room for one week too many. If he doesn’t pick up all the dirty clothes and empty chip bags off the floor right now, he will most certainly be grounded for at LEAST two weeks and his internet privileges will be revoked. No, Hayden, it doesn’t matter that you’re 19-years-old and living at college now, cleanliness is always an important trait to foster! How do you expect to get a girlfriend if you’re you’re such a slob?

Hayden, who was definitely raised to uphold MUCH higher standards, was found sitting on his bed, while living in squalor, with sheets that look like they have not been washed in weeks! Bed bugs are known to fester in conditions like this and he’ll almost certainly have to deal with them if he doesn’t get his sorry butt into shape right this instant!

Hayden better start wiping down his room and if the inside of his fridge is as dirty as the re–HAYDEN! Is that beer in this fridge?? Did your father raise you to be a lawbreaking alcoholic? So help me God you’re in for the asswhooping of a lifetime when you get home!