Written by: Chris Doherty

Ezra Lambert, a self-identified millennial, awoke to a vague and confusing text message on his iPhone last Wednesday morning. The message contained various references to stripclubs, casinos, and David Lynch Reddit boards. It ended with an ominous phrase: “HOT SLOTS.” To the confusion of many, seventeen of Lambert’s art school friends also received messages with similarly concerning texts. Lambert’s friend Chris Miller commented: “What does it all mean though? I’m not understanding any of this.”

Naturally, like modern day hipsters, Lambert and Miller took to the discussion boards. The texts received by Lambert and friends contained various motifs and symbols involving the color red, white horses, and creamed corn. “WHAT DOES ‘HOT SLOTS’ MEAN” was instantly pinned and Redditors went haywire. User wHiteHorse340 offered a suggestion: “Okay so remember that one text that mentioned a white horse? That is COMPLETELY essential to understanding HOT SLOTS.”

The board compiled all text messages sent to Lambert, Miller, and others. Some students even took to overlapping the messages in order to decode HOT SLOTS. Currently, there is no consensus as to what HOT SLOTS even means, but some theorists suggest layering all 18 text messages together in order will reveal the true meaning…

Staff Writer at The MQ

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