Top Ten
Top Ten Ways You, Taking Your Midterm, Resemble Laika, the Dog the Russians Shot into Space
You’re rapidly learning about the beautiful cruelty of man About halfway through it got hard to tell which way was up All of this is in …
Top Ten Ways Not to Use a Blender
While in a microwave As a food processor. No respectable chef would call that a “mince” Holding it up to the sky to try and make …
Top Ten Ways Your Last DIY Project Is Like Your Last DUI
“Honey, it’s fine. I can do this” You’re now banned from Michaels It now takes additional steps to start up your car You did it by …
Top Ten Little Known Environmental Problems
The oil spill on Mars that NASA doesn’t want you to know about Global warming is actually caused by people measuring CO2 levels There are too …
Top Ten Things Only the Next Generation of Kids Will Understand
President Gorkshmeed is a proud Reptilian-American, and he’s just like the rest of us The long-term effects of keeping a cellphone in your pocket The entirety …
Top Ten Differences Between Your Crush And a Bucket Full Of Teeth
Top Ten Differences Between Your Crush And a Bucket Full Of Teeth You only have one crush It’s okay if the feds know about your crush …
Little Known Conversation Heart Quotes
“It’s benign” “You’ve been served. This is legally binding” “Work will set you free” “In reality, it’s more like two candy fists” “Ask again later” “Please …
Top Ten Upcoming Alternative Energy Sources
Plug two generators into one another for endless energy Give internship credit to undergraduates for sitting around and spinning a wheel Power a generator with heat …
Top Ten Differences between Your Shoes and Hillary Clinton’s Shoes
One pair belongs to a lying, corrupt politician, and the other belongs to Clinton Yours are black and hers are a darker shade of black Her …
Top Ten Things Holding Back the Realization of a Modern-Day Utopia
Eve. Couldn’t she have just eaten the pear? Vertically sliced bread isn’t a thing yet Did you know that some states still have laws restricting gerrymandering? …
