The oil spill on Mars that NASA doesn’t want you to know about Global warming is actually caused by people measuring CO2 levels There are too …

President Gorkshmeed is a proud Reptilian-American, and he’s just like the rest of us The long-term effects of keeping a cellphone in your pocket The entirety …

Top Ten Differences Between Your Crush And a Bucket Full Of Teeth You only have one crush It’s okay if the feds know about your crush …

“It’s benign” “You’ve been served. This is legally binding” “Work will set you free” “In reality, it’s more like two candy fists” “Ask again later” “Please …

Plug two generators into one another for endless energy Give internship credit to undergraduates for sitting around and spinning a wheel Power a generator with heat …

One pair belongs to a lying, corrupt politician, and the other belongs to Clinton Yours are black and hers are a darker shade of black Her …

Eve. Couldn’t she have just eaten the pear? Vertically sliced bread isn’t a thing yet Did you know that some states still have laws restricting gerrymandering? …

Fighting on the playground The human body contains about 3.5 more liters of blood than your bucket can handle The realization that life is just series …

Grabbing a shopping cart instead of a basket. You’re just slowing yourself down Being a participant in the trampling death of that old woman, but also …

Good, wholesome family fun Oscar-winner Tom Hanks on a raft with a volleyball My goddamn tax money Apparently birthmarks are back in style All four members …