Features
These are features from the newspaper. Centerspread and Backspread can also be found in their respective pages.
The MQ Secedes From the Union
We the People of the United Satire of the MQ (aka Munited Qates aka Mew Qealand aka Mouth Qorea aka MadaQascar aka MonQolia), in order to form a more perfect punchline, establish humor and ensure mocking hilarity, provide for the common reader, promote the general laughter and ensure the blessings of newspaper
What You Did During Your Hot Girl Summer
Whether you’re a hot girl, hot boy, or a hot person, we can all agree the record breaking heat wave over the summer was something we’re still recovering from. It was going to be a summer to remember, but it turned into one you’ll never forget. But in case you do, here’s what you were up to over the last three months, or seven years, or however long this has been. At least you got through it! We think.
MQCTOBER CALENDAR
There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to anyone but that one guy you know who uses RedBull instead of water when making coffee. It is a dimension as vast as your ignorance about how big space really is, and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, Sixth college and Seventh, between STEM majors and Humanities majors (science and superstition), and it lies between the pit of your greatest nightmares (having to take a full year of zoom classes), and the summit of your knowledge (knowing it might last longer than that). It is … THE TWILIGHT ZOOM
You are a robot. Can you find love?
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