Opinion

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

Figurative Language: As Useless as a Hole-Filled Umbrella during a Hailstorm

Written by: The MQ

Figurative language. Nothing is more confusing to me than the use of figurative language. I don’t understand why everyone feels the need to use all of …

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Standing in Line Point/Counter Point

Written by: The MQ

Point: I Just Need a Second to Decide Between the BLT Sandwich and the Caesar Salad Oh, just give me one more minute, I can’t decide …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

America’s Soup: A Great White Cream of Diversity

Written by: The MQ

Think of the United States not as a great melting pot of steels and irons, but as a large cauldron cooking up a mighty fine Texas …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

Hoverboards Are an Atrocity And Must Be Stopped!

Written by: The MQ

Hoverboards. Let me tell you something about these rolling, devil-worshipping machines. You may have seen kids rolling around on these horrible contraptions, wobbling around like they …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

Is It Just Me, or Is the Canadian Liberal Party’s Election Like the Quagga’s Extinction?

Written by: The MQ

Normally, I would not associate myself with the quintessentially leftist and subversive media. However, given the severity of the political climate of our northern neighbor, I …

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Mitochondria Point/Counter Point

Written by: The MQ

Point: The Mitochondria Is, in Fact, Not the Powerhouse of the Cell After seeing so many test questions and textbooks reference such erroneous material like it’s …

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Dress Codes Point/Counter Point

Written by: The MQ

Point: School Dress Codes Are Unnecessary and Unreasonable Middle school was the worst six years of my life. When I was 11 years old, I was …

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Satanic Barbecue Point/Counter Point

Written by: The MQ

Point: University of California, San Diego: One Big Homage to the Devil? Greetings, children of the Great Shepherd, our Great Lord. I stand before you today …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

I’m So Excited Daddy’s Coming Home!

Written by: The MQ

Okay, I am SO excited right now! Even more excited than last week when Ms. Johnson said my self-portrait looked like a sick monkey, which is …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

At Least My Dead Son Didn’t Have Autism

Written by: The MQ

I am a mom who cares about her kids. A lot. That’s why when my currently dead child’s doctor told me that my now-dead son would …