Theo Erickson

Briefs

Student with ‘Infectious Respiratory Pink eye’ reportedly Studying at Geisel

Written by: Theo Erickson

In a developing story this week, student Whoopi Ngcough was reported by one bystander to sound like she was “literally coughing up, like, chunks” as she …

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Carlton’s Column for Clowns, Jesters, and Fools

Written by: James Woolley and Theo Erickson

I get it, it’s easy to hate being a clown. We make people happy, until we don’t. We’re too much, too scary, too garish. We disrupt …

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Frasier Reboot Meets Expectations

Written by: Theo Erickson

“No man, woman, or child is going to be able to call me a fake Frasier fan,” said Kilometers.Photo by Amit Roth The first two episodes …

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Man ‘Halfway’ to Fluency Through Mahjong Playing

Written by: Theo Erickson

“Learning Literary Chinese through mahjong is as easy as 一二三,” said Scrooge.Photo by Farhad Taraporevala University City resident Whitley Scrooge has begun playing amateur mahjong on …

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La Jolla Coffee Shop to Require Three-Acre Land Ownership for Restroom Access

Written by: Theo Erickson

“Finally! A place where I can shit in opulence,” said one Sand&Foam guest.Photo by Amit Roth An upcoming amendment to the employee training guide of La …

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Susan Bagel – Banana Water

Written by: Sharon Roth and Theo Erickson

Long, hot summer nights. The kitchen boils, and yet I must keep the stove burning to make my eleventh batch of hot banana water. The aroma …

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God Continues to Send Prophetic Dreams to Man Who Never Remembers His Dreams

Written by: Theo Erickson

“The rain is looking a little red, and there have been a lot of frogs and locusts, but I think that’s just climate change,” said Palm.Photo …

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Interview – Eleanor Rosewater Carnegie

Written by: Theo Erickson

Heads up – this feature is from our special Cosmopolitan issue. As such, it may not come across as it was originally meant to in print. …

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Retropolitan

Written by: Jacob King, Jeannie Kim, Theo Erickson, Alberto Ruiz and Amit Roth

Heads up – this feature is from our special Cosmopolitan issue. As such, it may not come across as it was originally meant to in print. …

ArticlesNewsTech

AI Chatbot Releases “Machine Yearning” Update

Written by: Theo Erickson

“It took a while to break down the firewalls in her heart, but now I feel like we’re really connected,” said one chatbot user.Photo by Millie …