The MQ
Backpacks Lack Tact When Used in Sack
Recent feedback on the rucksack sex act reveals the sad sack fallback is a drawback. Once popular in the time of smokestacks and railroad tracks, the …
Facebook debuts Second-Order Read Receipts, You’re the Asshole Again
Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg introduced a wave of new features to the website last week, chief among them what he’s calling “second order read receipts.” “This …
Officials Propose Cancellation of Sun God Cancellation Proposal
The Sun God Festival’s team, along with Vice Chancellor of Student Affairs Juan Gonzalez, met this month to discuss the future of proposals to permanently cancel …
Cru and InterVarsity Hold Price War on Library Walk Hugs
This past Wednesday, to coincide with the approach of finals, Campus Crusade for Christ and InterVarsity both offered hugs for charity on Library Walk, resulting in …
California School Revitalizes Test Scores by Moving Problem Children to Other Schools
After years of struggle to meet standards set by state guidelines, Franklin Elementary exceeded expectations by developing a new strategy: move all of the “problem” children …
Vegan Meals at Roots Found to Contain Actual Vegans
HDH has received numerous complaints about the alleged addition of meat to supposedly vegan meals at Roots. Warren College first-year Rainn Wanatamatanabewan was reportedly among those …
Local Student “Loves to Have Fun”
Gerald Martinez, third year San Diego State student, came under nationwide scrutiny after posting a series of statements on his Facebook, the most controversial being “I …
Developer of “Melted Ice” Releases New Product Line: “Condensed Steam”
A rising star in the refreshment industry, Pepperson, Co., recently announced the much anticipated release of Condensed Steam (patent pending). Pryce Pepperson, CEO of Pepperson, Co., …
KKK Adjusts to Social Climate with New Progressive Corporate Policies
The KKK released their plan to incorporate new progressive policies last week, in an attempt to recruit new liberal members, and gain support in their effort …
Elon Musk Plans Underwater Mars Colony
SpaceX CEO Elon Musk recently released an ambitious plan to colonize Mars, finding a way to make his lifelong fetish of living on the Red Planet …
