The MQ
Muir Res Hall Designated as Wildlife Preserve after Rare Species of Moth Found
In a sudden turn of events, the Muir residential halls have now been declared a wildlife preserve after a new species of moth was discovered being …
Turnitin Decides 26 Words or Fewer is Not Plagiarism
The leading originality checking program, Turnitin, has announced this past week that it will not mark plagiarism that consists of 26 words or fewer. Turnitin is …
Trump Campaign Hires Tony the Tiger, “They’re Great”
The formal resignation of former Trump Campaign Manager Kellyanne Conway early last week came as a surprise to Donald J. Trump for President, Inc. and the …
Circus Fans Disappointed that Mother Teresa’s Canonization Means Something Else
Patrons of Ringding Brothers Circus Co. felt disillusioned this week when they realized they would not be seeing their favorite Catholic nun, Mother Teresa, catapulting through …
Top Ten Reasons to Switch to Bigger Tires
Your Civic isn’t as big as that Hummer and you need to compensate Bigger tire fires The third round of the tire toss is coming up …
Top Ten Things Your Professor has Done to Try and Relate to You
Forgotten the TA’s name Shared their AOL username When they introduced iClickers, they also turned around, looked at the slide and groaned Asked you to swipe …
Top Ten Things You Can Do to Push Your Cool RA’s Limits
Ask them if you can sleep in their bed tonight, since there’s lightning and thunder outside Sell weed out of your dorm and give them a …
Lassie Unable to Warn Timmy About 2008 Financial Crisis
In 2008, Timmy Martin from the long-running television series “Lassie,” was about to buy mortgage-backed securities to improve his financial portfolio. Lassie, seeing the shady practices …
Oxford Comma Sues UCSD for Lack of Use, Malpractice and Negligence
In a release, the Oxford Comma claims that UCSD’s negligence has led to grievous errors over the past five years. In addition, UCSD is accused of …
Top Ten Excuses You Can Make Up to Get An Extension on That Paper
My grandma ate my homework and then died Until we find a better alternative to actual paper, I refuse to print mine The guy that I …
