November 1, 2023 Read it and weep profusely. Volume XXX Issue II


UCSD Students Continue to Argue They “Wouldn’t Have Gone to UCLA Even If They Got In”

Written by: The MQ

Pictured: a proud first-year Triton practicing the official UCSD yoga pose.
Photo by: Angelica Sun

This year has proven to be one of the most competitive years for college applicants, with a record number of applications for all University of California (UC) schools, and record low acceptance rates for Ivy League universities. A common topic of discussion among incoming freshmen is what their top school was, and many new students at UCSD insist that UCSD was, in fact, their first and only college choice.

With a whopping 97,000 freshman applications, UCLA received an unparalleled number of applicants among the nation and subsequently denied 79,599 students the chance to attend their prestigious institution. On the other hand, UCSD brought in a record-breaking class of 2020 consisting of over 8,000 freshman and transfer students. Unsurprisingly, there is a significant intersection between UCSD’s 8,000 new recruits and UCLA’s 79,599 new rejects.

“It doesn’t really matter that UCLA rejected me. I mean, their football team even lost to USC, and who wants to go to a school that can’t even beat USC? UCSD just became D1 this year, which can only mean that they are Definitely #1,” freshman Reed Jack said. “All that matters is that I applied to UCSD, got waitlisted, and was finally accepted. I don’t mind being waitlisted in even more things like my classes and my major — I’ve got the raccoons for company!”

Over the past few years, UCSD has received many merits for their engineering and medical programs, becoming one of the best institutions for STEM majors. In particular, UCSD’s bioengineering program competes with those of institutions such as MIT and Stanford University, and is renowned worldwide. As a result, however, bioengineering has become one of the most popular major choices at UCSD and has received a capped status.

“Yeah, I chose UCSD over all my other choices because I’m going to be a bioengineer and change the world with genetic engineering,” second year Don Weighton said. “Sure, it says I’m still majoring in ‘Undeclared,’ but we all know they just accidentally thought I was gonna go into Media Studies to learn about my favorite sitcom. I mean, UCSD cares so much about what their students want, right? They wouldn’t just refuse to let me study my intended major, right?”

A common initial concern for incoming students was UCSD’s social aspects. Many students seemed a little worried after hearing rumors that UCSD’s nickname is “UC Socially Dead.” These concerns, however, seemed to quickly dispel after Welcome Week.

“Dude, UCSD is so lit!” one first year enthused. “I live in the Sixth res halls, and there have been root BEER parties every night! After a long night of partying, we even take espresso SHOTS the morning after!” The student chose to remain anonymous, citing concerns that their comments could be noticed by a police officer. “Man, I never went this hard in high school. I’m so excited for the Sixth College rave coming up too- I heard there might even be some girls this time!”

As the school year slowly progresses, UCSD continues to go above and beyond many students’ expectations.

“I mean, I was told it was going to be like 75 degrees outside, 80 at most,” Nina Roe said. “Sure, it was like 100 degrees the first couple of weeks here at UCSD, but I mean look at SDSU! They would be grateful to get even one degree!”

Written by: David Ding, staff writer

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