Mother Earth recently revealed her thoughts on President-Elect Donald Trump’s claims that climate change is a Chinese conspiracy to make American manufacturing non-competitive. His denialism upset Earth deeply.

“They are making me sick. And here they are, claiming that they did nothing wrong, and that it’s the work of ‘China,’” she said.

Her spouse, Lady Nature was outraged. She stated that she had become more protective of Earth when people began digging and burning coal.

“Humans are taking advantage of my wife,” said Nature. “They clear her trees and mine for iron no matter the damage. At first it was fine; I know they need to live. But once they gave her a fever by burning coal and drove her favorite animal, the dodo, to extinction, I decided that it was too much.”

Earth stated that she longed for the dinosaurs.

“The dinosaurs never damaged me this much. They didn’t pierce, burn, or launch nuclear bombs at me and then blame ‘China,’” she said. “I’m now contemplating another mass extinction just for the sake of my wellbeing.” Earth was later not available for comment.

Written by: Rene Mejia, Staff Writer