June 3, 2026 You look delectable. Volume XXXII Issue VII

TOP TEN Ways to Stand Out at Your New Job

Top Ten

Written by: The MQ

June 10, 2026

  1. Unionize
  2. Put in an honest day’s work
  3. Beat up the toughest guy there
  4. Click all the phishing emails IT sends you
  5. Wear a skirt short enough to elegantly flash
    your jeweled buttplug
  6. Offer to perform a cesarean on your
    pregnant coworker
  7. Fisting with the hand you shake with
  8. Boil an egg in the microwave
  9. Spoil the Wordle
  10. Bring a gun
The MQ

The premier satire publication at UC San Diego.

Last modified: June 9, 2026