After a three-year hiatus, OceanGate Inc. has officially announced plans to resume operations. Their “reopening” will include the launch of its new submersible vessel “Chekhov”. The new tour line aims to provide the financially advantageous with an exclusive look at the skeleton of the infamous Titan submersible, lost during its famed expedition to the Titanic wreckage. “We’re really filling a gap in the market here with tours of a wreck site of a tour of a wreck site,” extolled one OceanGate employee, who appeared to be made out of fiberglass.
For the low price of $50,000, citizens of the world are now able to purchase a spot on this historic private watercraft. “There’s truly never been a commercial launch of this caliber…except for that one time,” said Friedreich von Crack, billionaire OceanGate investor.
Despite the company’s commitments to “cheaper safety and security,” many have voiced negative reactions to OceanGate’s reopening. In response to the dissent, Director James Cameron spoke on the matter, reasoning, “Everyone just needs to think about the possibilities that this new marketing offers. I mean the film writes itself. Picture it: a movie set in a doomed watercraft traveling through the North Atlantic — starring two forbidden lovers, a billionaire socialite, and a humble millionaire. It’s truly novel stuff.”
