Wilt.ai CEO Will Tookwater was found in his bed on the morning of February 3 a “dehydrated and unpleasant stale raisin.” According to his doctors, Tookwater is currently alive, but is “absorbing an unprecedented amount of water” and shows no signs of “outputting anything of substance.”
Wilt.ai, a new AI startup based in Cleveland, Ohio, uses Generative Deep Augmented Computational Analysis to monitor customers’ “body-water” concentration and provide alerts when they need to hydrate or dehydrate, according to their Wix-generated website.
While his employees hold a candlelight vigil in the Wilt.ai offices, Tookwater’s family is currently in litigation with the Greater Hospital of Northern Ohio, which is reportedly “unable to keep the lights on in his room.” In the past months, the hospital has resorted to “heavy generator use” because of the strain on the power grid from the new Wilt.ai data center 40 miles away.
When asked for comment, Tookwater’s assistant shared, “Mr. Tookwater is using his groundbreaking technology to monitor his health and wellbeing and is en route to Lake Erie to draw out the contents to sustain his startup and his life force.” Tookwater did not comment, except to dry heave and lurch for a nearby water bottle.
