Local man Ronald Pembry decided this Friday to book an escape room for himself and his friends because “it sounded like a fun thing to do.” Pembry, age 23, had never attempted an escape room before, and was reportedly “excited, because [he] like[s] sudoku and stuff, even though [he] ‘Groks’ the answers.”
Pembry’s friends thumbs down–reacted to his message in their group chat, as he was reportedly known among his friend group as “the least observant person, possibly ever.”
“I like the guy and all, but I’ve seen him walk face-first into a brick wall without stopping on at least three separate occasions.” said Craig Linus, friend of Pembry. “I don’t think he has the capacity to succeed in an environment where you have to think, even while carefully supervised.”
Despite none of his friends responding to his Google Calendar invite, Pembry still decided to attempt to escape a room solo. “How hard could it really be?” he said. “I’m a smart guy. I feel strongly about that.”
However, before Pembry could make it to the building to play an escape room, a car hit him after he forgot to look both ways before crossing the street. He died instantly.
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